Friday, 23 November 2007

Tragedy Again Strikes Pizza Delivery Driver as 6th Grandmother Dies

Birmingham England—Tragedy has once again befallen 27-year-old pizza-delivery driver Mike Prescot, whose beloved "Nanny Irene" died last Monday at the age of 87 following a long battle with heart cancer. She was Prescot's sixth grandmother to pass on in the past eight months.

Nanny Irene's passing forced the aspiring bass guitarist to miss work at Angelo's Pizza for three days in order to attend the family matriarch's funeral.
"Yeah, Mike, I'm at the service right now," Prescot told Jamie Mosedale, his boss at Angelo's Pizza, via telephone from the Serendipity Funeral Home in downtown Birmingham. "It's very moving, you know, and she looks really natural, and I have a suit on."
"She was a big Bon Jovi fan," Prescot added. "That's why you can hear them in the background."
Though he is remaining stoic, the tragic loss has clearly shaken Mike. "It's never easy to lose one grandma," Prescot said. "But to lose as many as I have, well, it's almost too much to bear."
Prescot's string of grandmother-passings began last Easter, when paternal grandmother Trish Prescot suffered a fatal leukemia attack, causing Prescot to miss two days of work and a visit to the Leeds Festival with a group of friends.
Barely a month later, Elaine Prescot, another paternal grandmother, succumbed to arthritis just before friend Jimmy Gaines held an all-day 26th-birthday bash, which Prescot described as "apparently awesome."
"I understand the party was incredible, especially the part where Jimmy got so wasted, he threw up on the ping-pong table," Mike said. "It's just too bad I missed it, what with the death of that last grandmother and all."
The string of deaths continued in July, when the mothers of Prescot's adoptive parents died on the same weekend, of Beckham's Disease and multiple dystrophy, just before the opening of Spiderman III and his band's gig at The Citadel in Edgebaston.
But the most recent loss, Mike said, may be the most painful yet, since last week's loss of Great Auntie Britney. And he has just received news that his Grandad George has been diagnosed with terminal myopia and may not make it through to next weekend, which would force Prescot to miss The Battle of the Bands Festival at The Bullring.

with thanks to The Onion for reminding me to ask about the health and number of surviving Grandparents when interviewing prospective employees!

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